you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
