Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
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