He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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