it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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