Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
