A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
