i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
