you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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