so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
porn star boner night. come get it.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
