I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I skipped work to stalk him.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
