they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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