I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Randomize
