shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
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