is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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