I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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