Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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