He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
