I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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