i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
