Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
