i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I'm at about main and main street
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
