The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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