we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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