she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
