I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
