he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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