that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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