can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
