Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
You can't just leave with hair like that
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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