we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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