I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Randomize
