next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
