Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I just forgot I was standing up.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Randomize
