Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
