i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
