I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
