so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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