Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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