Do you still have your period?
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
