Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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