Do you still have your period?
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
