Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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