It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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