i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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