Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Randomize
