How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Randomize
