I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
