apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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