why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
