Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Randomize
