I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
