Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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